elieve it or not, the silence on my part can once again be attributed to something medical. SURPRISE.

I broke my shoulderblade fifteen days ago, which was, to put it mildly, pretty devastating for me. That’s why I haven’t written anything — typing with one hand is HARD. It was totally unexpected, yet with my disease I feel like I should have expected it. I knew something was wrong, I knew it weeks before I went to the emergency room. After 21 years of dealing with this, I know my body, and I know that pain. I had written this long entry trying to explain my disease and why this continue to happen, but that entry was also filled with frustration and cynicism, and that’s really not who I want to be.

I broke my shoulderblade because I have a bone disease where all it takes is carrying a bag the wrong way. I don’t have to fall, I don’t have to be in some freak accident, it just takes something very simple. It seems to be more about luck than anything else, because there have been times where I have done something that very easily could’ve ended up with me breaking something, but I didn’t. I don’t know. I really don’t know anything. I’ve been wearing a sling 24/7 until today where I’m not allowed to use it anymore. Your joints can stiffen if you wear it longer than that. I have a doctors appointment on the 25th of August (I can’t tell you how great it is to have to take the day off a little more than a week after I’ve started school), and then we’ll see what’s going to happen with it.

The weird thing is that right after I was done doing the ugly cry at the emergency room, the kind of cry that you hold in just until the doctor has left the room and then you’re BAWLING, is that I very quickly gathered myself. It was like I needed to get all of that frustration and hopelessness out, and then once I had done that, I could look at the positives again. “I’m not deadly ill, I don’t have cancer, I still have one good arm, my legs don’t hurt on a daily basis”, etc. It’s like you just HAVE to. When you’ve got two broken legs and a broken shoulder, the situation is so desperate that you become desperate to find something GOOD in your life. The truth is that the older I get the shorter my “woe is me” moments become, and even though I think those moments are needed and are justified, it’s like I’ve become a strong enough person over the years to realize that everything I have going for me right now could so easily be taken away, and I don’t want to waste a second not being grateful. And I am grateful every second day. I take NOTHING that’s working on my body for granted.

God, please, please let this be it for a while.

On top of that, these past two weeks have been exceptionally bad. One of my worst nightmares happened last week, one that has possibly traumatized me for life, but I can’t write about it yet. I have to take one bad thing at a time.

Tomorrow I will post a list of everything that is making me happy right now. We need a little optimism

God, it has been hot here lately. Like, really, really hot. I know that some of you are used to much worse, but you have to remember that I live in a northen country, and you are therefore reading the blog of a delicate little flower. A delicate flower who can handle a bitchin’ winter. And yet, summer is by far my favorite season. I live for this time a year.

I just got home from having spent a couple of days in the summerhouse with my family. It was different being up there with them, without Andrew. The summerhouse is usually where he and I play house. Where we play husband and wife. It’s also where we have cringe-worthy arguments, slam the doors, and run out on each other. It’s where we kiss and make up. It’s where we tell each other stories about our childhoods, and where we get to know each other better. It’s where we each find our own tasks and passions and admire each other perform them from afar. It’s where I fall in love with him all over again about a billion times a day.

It was weird, being there without him.

But it was good to get away. My aunt was up there with us, and, well, she’s a story for another post. The femme fatale from Denmark who has captured every rockstar/artist/interesting person’s heart. Mention anyone and she will have some sort of personal story to go along with that person. She’s night where my mom is day, but they are best friends, and call each other “honey”.

Yesterday we went to the beach, and okay, here’s something you need to know about me. I’m one of the few people in this world who DOESN’T want to get a tan, and the reasons why are really simple. I really don’t like the idea of the sun burning my body. That’s it. Skin cancer scares the hell out of me. My skin is very sensitive, and I especially have to be extra careful with my chest and my arm because that is where I got that 2nd degree sunburn back in 2008. That day was INSANE. It was the day of Andrew’s graduation, and I had stayed up till 3.30am the night before making him a card. I was woken at 9am, 30 minutes before we had to leave, and there was just no time to put on sunblock. I know it sounds like such a bad excuse, but I’m telling you, his mother rushed me so much, and I forgot to grab it. It was awful sitting there in the sun, knowing that I was just BURNING, and there was nothing I could do about it. I’ve also heard that staying out of the sun is a great beauty tip, and I generally am not too good at following those, but this one seems do-able to me.

So, we went down to the beach, and I was of course wearing thirty layers of sunblock and sitting under a parasol. I was wearing shorts and a tanktop, and I’m telling you, I was probably one of the only women on the beach who wasn’t topless. I mean, completely topless. My sister wasn’t, and a few other young girls weren’t, but all the women who were +25 were. No matter where you looked, it was like BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS. I didn’t mind, I don’t see how I could, but I just can’t imagine sitting there with it all hanging out. OH, OH, I’ve got a good story to go with this. There were two elderly women behind us who were sitting on a blanket, topless of course. I was laying on my stomach towards them underneath the parasol, reading my book, and I wasn’t looking at them or anything. I had noticed that they were there and that their boobs were showing, but I wasn’t staring. The next time I look up, they are talking to this couple they know, a man and a woman, who I guess were talking a walk on the beach. WOW. Can you imagine sitting there with no anything on and then you meet this couple that you know? Yikes.

Here are some pictures, and none of them feature boobs. Sorry to those of you were hoping.

My aunt’s fiancé drove us home yesterday, but we had to make a stop on the way. Apparently he had to help a friend move a statue he had just bought, and their summerhouse was right in the area. Sorta. I chose to sit in the car so I could play Whirly Word on my iPod, because, you know, I was under the impression that they wouldn’t be very long, and I also couldn’t handle the idea of being social. That feeling comes to me sometimes, the anxiety, and I thought this was one of those things that it would be okay for me to skip. I didn’t think anybody’s feelings would get hurt.

I think I ended up sitting out there for 2 hours, and after about an hour I had to pee. Badly. Like, so, so badly. Can’t-be-ignored badly. The problem was that we had a 45 minute drive home, and I didn’t know how long they would be, so I… I did something I would never normally do. I kinda… I… you know. PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME. It shall never happen again. Not unless I absolutely have to. Desperate situations require desperate measures, and this was desperate.

This is what I was staring at for 2 hours:

Just as I had managed to reach my book by bending my body in a way I’m pretty sure only acrobats are capable of, they came out. TYPICAL.

And we got home safe and sound… finally.

I saw this video a while ago, and always knew that I wanted to share it with you. It was made on the first day of summer by my sister’s best friend (she’s the girl on the bicycle), and I’ve never seen anything that captures the beauty of Copenhagen as well as this. I live in the area that this was shot in, and I can’t even begin to tell you how magical it is around here this time a year. Words can’t express it, but a video can.

Enjoy!

(Note: This video is accompanied by a song, and I highly suggest that you keep the sound on, because the song just fits the gist of the video perfectly.)